Seven Steps
1. A desperation to see husbands saved and walking with the Lord.
a. What drives you?? Why are you desperate? Do you want your husband to be saved because you want an easier life? Do you think that, if he is saved, he’ll change for the better immediately? Do you want to look good/fit in at church? Being saved is just one of the steps in a journey that we all take when we have a relationship with the Lord. Few things in our character change when we are saved and even fewer things change unless we submit to the Lord’s love and discipline. Unless your husband wants to change and is willing to be changed, the Lord will not force him or strong-arm him into change. If your only or main desire is for an easier life or marriage, you may be sorely disappointed at first. Therefore, I believe we must be concerned for eternal destiny and abundant life for your husband, and ‘till the soil’, ‘plant the seeds’ and watch the Lord grow his faith (1 Cor 3: 4-9)
b. What’s your block?? What’s going on within you to keep you from praying? Why might you struggle to pray for something that is of such importance to you? Are there any issues/repentance/forgiveness or
unforgiveness that you need to sort out? Is there a belief or attitude that you have about yourself, others or the world that is not in line with what the Lord says to be right and true? There could be strongholds (entrenched pride and unbelief; see 2 Corinthians 10) in your life that need to be broken.
c. What’s the potential future?? What might it mean if your husband becomes a Christian? What would the reality of that look like? What are your expectations of him when he becomes a Christian? What if your newly-saved husband believes he is called to quit his job, become a full-time missionary and move to Africa? How would you handle that? I’m not saying that anything radical like that will happen to you but do you really, really want his conversion and its consequences? As the saying goes: Be careful what you ask for. You just might get it! In other words, are you willing to live with a man who is being led by the Lord, whatever that may look like? I don’t mean to scare you but the reality is that most of us will go with what is comfortable/familiar, rather than what the Lord wants. Ask the Lord to prepare your heart, your faith, your mind to what He has in store for you, for your husband, and for you both as a couple.
2. Commitment to the group. What does this mean?
a. You will need time to meet on a regular basis for a good period of time. Traditionally, the groups have met once a week for about 2 hours to pray. You may want to meet more often for less time or less often for more time or more often for more time. It’s up to each group, but practically speaking, meeting every week for a good chunk of time means that if someone misses a meeting, she doesn’t feel too left out or far behind because the next meeting is only a week away. Decide when/where/how often is the best to meet for all concerned.
b. Is there a trial period? It is important that each woman has the option to explore if the group is a good fit for her or not. Pragmatically speaking, perhaps a ‘trial period’ of one month (or 4 prayer sessions) is a good period to see if she would like to join the group. It would be understood, however, that, even if she decides not to stay, confidentiality is still important.
c. Vulnerability: Openness to God and to each other is necessary (and ultimately rewarding) if this type of prayer group is to work. You must be ‘real’ with each other and with God. That said, each woman is responsible for the other women and must treat each with love and respect, just as the Lord would do.
d. Confidentiality and Trust: Being vulnerable and open about our lives and the lives of our husbands and family mean that we often pray about very sensitive and private issues that are not for public consumption. Therefore, confidentiality and trust are of great importance and gossip within or outside the group is unacceptable. What is said or prayed for in the group stays in the group.
3. Prepare to do battle with the enemy for your husband and for each other. There are loads of books on spiritual warfare so get one if you need help on this.
a. Be aware that this happens. The enemy will not be pleased that you are interceding for your spouse or each other.
b. How do you prepare for this? Go before the Lord and repent of any known sin in your life and then ask Him to reveal anything in your heart that is keeping you from being close to Him. Keep short accounts with Him and other people in your life. Stay close to Him. Worship Him daily through your words and deeds.
c. Recognize your vulnerabilities with the enemy. How does he attack you? In what areas of your life are you most often hurt or feel wronged? Does he attack you when people question your integrity/intelligence/authority? Do you feel wronged/harmed when you feel like you don’t belong somewhere or when someone doesn’t like you? The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy so when this sort of thing happens in your life, come against it with the authority that the Lord has given you , in his name. If need be, repent of believing the enemy’s lies about yourself or others. Also, the group can support and pray for you as and when you come under attack. Remember that you and your sisters-in-Christ are children of the one true Living God and your identity, security, purpose and destiny lies with Him, who is always loving, good and true.
4. Prepare for the Lord to work on your relationship with Him before/while working on your husband. This is great, because there is life and abundance when we stay close to the Lord (and to our husbands, as well!). Besides, it’s so much more fun!!! Evelyn Christianson’s ‘Lord Change Me’ is a good book to start with.
5. Tilling the Soil: Learn how to pray for the captives, do battle, spiritual unveiling. Your husband needs the Lord and was made, like you, to be in relationship with Him. God is sovereign and it is He that lifts the veil off our eyes to see Him.
6. Planting the Seeds: Get specific in prayer. Start thinking and asking for discernment in what and whom God is using to bring your husband closer to Him. Is there a friend or a colleague at work that is a Christian that could be friends to your husband? Would your husband like to go to a Christian event or talk to you about your faith?
7. Build your faith: At times, it might seem as if nothing is happening. You might feel as if your prayers aren’t being answered and you might grow weary in prayer. You might think that what you and the other women are praying for is not important to God or that He doesn’t have time for you. You may feel ‘stuck’ and uninspired in your prayer life and need some encouragement to carry on praying. How can God and you work together to build your faith, to help you persevere and be inspired to continue to pray? Once again there are loads of books that will lead you through faith building exercises. You can meditate on bible verse and do a lectio divina exercise (put in link in website to a lectio divina exercise). You can look over the prayers in their prayer notebook and see how God has responded to or answered your prayers. You can share these with the others members of the group. Sing and dance around the house with worship music on, sit quietly and think or go for a walk on a nature trail or in your neighbourhood and observe God’s creation. Go to a conference where there are speakers that are gifted in encouraging and strengthening your faith and gifting.
a. What drives you?? Why are you desperate? Do you want your husband to be saved because you want an easier life? Do you think that, if he is saved, he’ll change for the better immediately? Do you want to look good/fit in at church? Being saved is just one of the steps in a journey that we all take when we have a relationship with the Lord. Few things in our character change when we are saved and even fewer things change unless we submit to the Lord’s love and discipline. Unless your husband wants to change and is willing to be changed, the Lord will not force him or strong-arm him into change. If your only or main desire is for an easier life or marriage, you may be sorely disappointed at first. Therefore, I believe we must be concerned for eternal destiny and abundant life for your husband, and ‘till the soil’, ‘plant the seeds’ and watch the Lord grow his faith (1 Cor 3: 4-9)
b. What’s your block?? What’s going on within you to keep you from praying? Why might you struggle to pray for something that is of such importance to you? Are there any issues/repentance/forgiveness or
unforgiveness that you need to sort out? Is there a belief or attitude that you have about yourself, others or the world that is not in line with what the Lord says to be right and true? There could be strongholds (entrenched pride and unbelief; see 2 Corinthians 10) in your life that need to be broken.
c. What’s the potential future?? What might it mean if your husband becomes a Christian? What would the reality of that look like? What are your expectations of him when he becomes a Christian? What if your newly-saved husband believes he is called to quit his job, become a full-time missionary and move to Africa? How would you handle that? I’m not saying that anything radical like that will happen to you but do you really, really want his conversion and its consequences? As the saying goes: Be careful what you ask for. You just might get it! In other words, are you willing to live with a man who is being led by the Lord, whatever that may look like? I don’t mean to scare you but the reality is that most of us will go with what is comfortable/familiar, rather than what the Lord wants. Ask the Lord to prepare your heart, your faith, your mind to what He has in store for you, for your husband, and for you both as a couple.
2. Commitment to the group. What does this mean?
a. You will need time to meet on a regular basis for a good period of time. Traditionally, the groups have met once a week for about 2 hours to pray. You may want to meet more often for less time or less often for more time or more often for more time. It’s up to each group, but practically speaking, meeting every week for a good chunk of time means that if someone misses a meeting, she doesn’t feel too left out or far behind because the next meeting is only a week away. Decide when/where/how often is the best to meet for all concerned.
b. Is there a trial period? It is important that each woman has the option to explore if the group is a good fit for her or not. Pragmatically speaking, perhaps a ‘trial period’ of one month (or 4 prayer sessions) is a good period to see if she would like to join the group. It would be understood, however, that, even if she decides not to stay, confidentiality is still important.
c. Vulnerability: Openness to God and to each other is necessary (and ultimately rewarding) if this type of prayer group is to work. You must be ‘real’ with each other and with God. That said, each woman is responsible for the other women and must treat each with love and respect, just as the Lord would do.
d. Confidentiality and Trust: Being vulnerable and open about our lives and the lives of our husbands and family mean that we often pray about very sensitive and private issues that are not for public consumption. Therefore, confidentiality and trust are of great importance and gossip within or outside the group is unacceptable. What is said or prayed for in the group stays in the group.
3. Prepare to do battle with the enemy for your husband and for each other. There are loads of books on spiritual warfare so get one if you need help on this.
a. Be aware that this happens. The enemy will not be pleased that you are interceding for your spouse or each other.
b. How do you prepare for this? Go before the Lord and repent of any known sin in your life and then ask Him to reveal anything in your heart that is keeping you from being close to Him. Keep short accounts with Him and other people in your life. Stay close to Him. Worship Him daily through your words and deeds.
c. Recognize your vulnerabilities with the enemy. How does he attack you? In what areas of your life are you most often hurt or feel wronged? Does he attack you when people question your integrity/intelligence/authority? Do you feel wronged/harmed when you feel like you don’t belong somewhere or when someone doesn’t like you? The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy so when this sort of thing happens in your life, come against it with the authority that the Lord has given you , in his name. If need be, repent of believing the enemy’s lies about yourself or others. Also, the group can support and pray for you as and when you come under attack. Remember that you and your sisters-in-Christ are children of the one true Living God and your identity, security, purpose and destiny lies with Him, who is always loving, good and true.
4. Prepare for the Lord to work on your relationship with Him before/while working on your husband. This is great, because there is life and abundance when we stay close to the Lord (and to our husbands, as well!). Besides, it’s so much more fun!!! Evelyn Christianson’s ‘Lord Change Me’ is a good book to start with.
5. Tilling the Soil: Learn how to pray for the captives, do battle, spiritual unveiling. Your husband needs the Lord and was made, like you, to be in relationship with Him. God is sovereign and it is He that lifts the veil off our eyes to see Him.
6. Planting the Seeds: Get specific in prayer. Start thinking and asking for discernment in what and whom God is using to bring your husband closer to Him. Is there a friend or a colleague at work that is a Christian that could be friends to your husband? Would your husband like to go to a Christian event or talk to you about your faith?
7. Build your faith: At times, it might seem as if nothing is happening. You might feel as if your prayers aren’t being answered and you might grow weary in prayer. You might think that what you and the other women are praying for is not important to God or that He doesn’t have time for you. You may feel ‘stuck’ and uninspired in your prayer life and need some encouragement to carry on praying. How can God and you work together to build your faith, to help you persevere and be inspired to continue to pray? Once again there are loads of books that will lead you through faith building exercises. You can meditate on bible verse and do a lectio divina exercise (put in link in website to a lectio divina exercise). You can look over the prayers in their prayer notebook and see how God has responded to or answered your prayers. You can share these with the others members of the group. Sing and dance around the house with worship music on, sit quietly and think or go for a walk on a nature trail or in your neighbourhood and observe God’s creation. Go to a conference where there are speakers that are gifted in encouraging and strengthening your faith and gifting.